


Apple of my Eye

by Emerald1



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-08
Updated: 2011-07-10
Packaged: 2017-10-21 04:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald1/pseuds/Emerald1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when you thought you knew somebody...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Apple of my Eye

  
"Damn, one of those little monsters bit me."  Tony DiNozzo came storming out of the back elevator just as Director Vance came around the corner with two visitors.  It was only some fancy footwork that prevented a collision in the middle of the squad room.

"DiNozzo."  Vance held up a warning hand to prevent the younger man from saying anything.  "I'd like you to meet Saul and Gretchen Nyler, the grandparents of our guests."

The short, plump woman clucked as she pulled Tony's bandaged hand close.  "You poor dear, Matthew is the biter of the twins, I"m afraid.  He didn't mean any harm, really."

"Has Dr. Mallard checked your hand, Agent DiNozzo?"  It was expertly wrapped, but he wanted to make sure.

"Yes, Director, I just came from there."

"All right, while I discuss the boys' situation with their grandparents, you start working on your report.  Where have they been moved?"

"Interrogation room three, Sir."  Tony gingerly touched the gauze on his hand.  "No windows to break and the table is bolted to the floor."

Vance couldn't wait for Gibbs to get back from the courthouse.  "Who's watching the twins now?"

"McGee, Sir."  Tony rushed to explain when he saw the look on the Director's face.  "He offered."

The front elevator chimed, this time delivering Gibbs as he stormed into the squad room.  "What in the hell is going on. Leon?  Henry said a chair was thrown out the conference room window."

Vance sighed as he rubbed his forehead, he was pretty sure the Director of the CIA never had days like this.  "Gibbs, Mr. and Mrs Nyler have temporary custody of their twin grandsons while their daughter and son-in-law are both deployed.  The boys managed to get themselves in a bit of trouble at Quantico today."

"Define a bit."

"Well," Vance smothered a smile.  Parts of the adventure had been rather amusing, at least until the twin terrors had arrived in his building.  "There were the forty-five white mice they released in Bruce Hall in the middle of a luncheon hosted by General Smythe's wife.  During the chaos they managed to sneak off with several large chunks of dry ice and set off an explosion with it that managed to get the attention of the FBI's teams that were on base for training."

That did explain the phone call he'd received from Fornell as he walked out of the courthouse.   "Sounds like it was a busy morning."

Vance gave a shake of his head.  "That was just the warm up.  Then they managed to breech security and get into base operations.  Do you have any idea what kind of a ruckus it caused when they let over ten thousand ladybugs loose in the ducts leading to the computer rooms?"

A gray eyebrow started migrating north.  "Ten thousand?  At least we don't have to worry about aphids now."

"Not funny, Gibbs.  I'm on my way downstairs to release the boys to their grandparents.  Why don't you join us?"

Judging from the look on Vance's face, it wasn't exactly a request, and Gibbs followed, listening to the grandparents apologize over and over for the trouble the twins had managed to cause.  He didn't need to see them interacting with the boys to know that they were in over their heads and didn't have a clue how to manage until the parents returned home.  Listening to them, Gibbs didn't know what to expect when they arrived in the observation room, but he was sure it wasn't this.

Through the window, two red-headed boys could be seen, quietly sitting at the table, both industriously working on what appeared to be homework.  Tim McGee was standing behind them, nodding as he talked them through some math that Gibbs suspected was very advanced for their age. 

Mr. Nyler caught Gibbs' attention when he leaned over to whisper in Vance's ear.  "I've never seen them this quiet.  That young man in there with them, do you ever rent him out?"

Gibbs bit back a snort and turned to Ziva, the other occupant in the observation room.  She was watching McGee, with a predatory gleam in her eyes.  "Not that I'm complaining, but why aren't they eating him alive?"

Ziva smiled as her hand fluttered over the neckline of her shirt, a habit he'd noticed when she'd been attracted to a man, not something he'd ever associated with McGee.  "He was very... masterful with them..."

"McGee?  Our McGee?"  The eyebrow shot up once again.

"Yes, and..."

The eyebrow was still gaining altitude as Gibbs watched her blush.  "And?"

She looked at Gibbs before tucking her hair behind her ear.  "I never realized just how powerful his hands were."

The eyebrow continued to climb.  "McGee's hands?"

Looking as baffled as Gibbs felt, Vance pushed the intercom button.  "Agent McGee, the boys' grandparents are here to take them home."  There was a moment of chaos in the small room before McGee cleared his throat, instantly reigning them back in. 

It took a concerted effort on Gibbs' part to not let his mouth drop open.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a similar reaction from Vance, while the grandparents seemed to be viewing the mild-mannered agent as their new savior.

Tim's voice came through the speaker calmly.  "Thank you, Director Vance.  The boys have given me a detailed explanation as to how they were able to bypass security, and we've set up a plan for them to work off the damages they caused.  Base command has already signed off, we just need yours and the grandparent's approval."

The five people in the observation room watched as the boys packed away their work in their backpacks and quietly followed McGee out into the hallway.  The grandparents were watching the boys, while Vance and Gibbs were dividing their attention between the boys, McGee, and Ziva, who was almost purring as she followed McGee's every move.

Vance opened the door, allowing the elderly couple to step out to greet their grandchildren.  Once the civilians were distracted, Vance leaned close to Gibbs, unconsciously mimicking the grandfather's actions only a few minutes earlier.  "I'll walk them out, you hose down David before she ignites and  get the surveillance tape, then meet me in my office.  Let's figure out exactly how McGee managed this."


	2. Chapter 2

  
DiNozzo looked up at the sound of the elevator, then froze as McGee marched the two boys over to stand in front of his desk.  The one Tony recognized as Matthew was the first one to speak, encouraged by the hand squeezing his shoulder.  "I'm sorry, Agent DiNozzo.  It was wrong and irresponsible of me to hurt you like that."

Tony was stunned.  "Umm, okay, apology accepted."

The other boy spoke up, it took Tony a minute to remember that his name was Michael.  "Agent McGee is making... uh, letting us pull weeds here at the Navy Yard for the next two weekends to pay for the window we broke.  He said we have to polish your car, too."

"Really?"  Tony looked at his younger partner, who was turning the boys back towards the main elevator.  McGee gave him the briefest of nods before walking his young charges back to meet their grandparents and Vance.  Tony was still staring at the closed elevator when Gibbs walked through.

"DiNozzo?"

"Boss, those kids... McGee... how did..."

Gibbs just held up the tapes.  "Haven't a clue, but I'm looking forward to finding out.  You coming?"  Tony didn't have to be asked twice.

  
\---NCIS---

  
The three men leaned forward as the image on the plasma cleared to show the interior of the interrogation room.  DiNozzo was visible for just a moment before he stormed out of the small room.  The boys were rolling around on the floor, fighting over an apple, just a few seconds later.  In Vance's office the agents watched as the door to the interrogation room opened and then slammed shut, as McGee entered the room.  Leaning forward, all three men were expecting to hear McGee scold the boys and attempt to break them apart.  The loud, high-pitched whistle startled them as much as it did the boys.

"Wow, I didn't know he could do that."  Tony rubbed at his ears while Gibbs fumbled with the remote to turn the sound down.

Vance smirked at the matching expression on Tony's and the boys' faces, even as he subtly rubbed his own ear.  "I must admit, that was impressive."  Gibbs nodded, but was busy watching the screen.  Once he'd gotten their attention, McGee picked both boys up by their shirts and put them back in their seats before picking up the apple and setting it on the table as he circled around.  Other  than the whistle that would have impressed any drill instructor, McGee had been silent as he studied his young charges.

The shock only lasted a minute before they started verbally fighting over the apple, but McGee was ready for them.  The moment they started arguing, he slammed his hands onto the table.  Gibbs noted with pride that his agent had his hands slightly cupped, to increase the noise from the metal table.  It worked, as Matthew, Michael, and Tony all jumped again.

"Enough!"  It was a roar worthy of Gibbs, shocking coming from the younger man.  While the youngsters stared at him in surprise, McGee picked the apple back up and twisted the stem off as he spoke.  "If the other apple was rotten, then you split this one the way siblings are supposed to."

"But..."

On the screen Tim handed them each half of the apple while in the office three men reacted with surprise.

"Wow, wait, how'd he do that?"  Tony looked to Gibbs who was already rewinding to tape to get a better look.  Even the former sniper had missed Tim cutting the apple perfectly in half.

The third time they watched, all three noses were inches from the screen and the action on the video was playing at the slowest speed.  As the apple separated, Gibbs shook his head.  "Ziva was talking about how powerful McGee's hands were."

"Powerful?  Boss, he tore that apple in half with his bare hands."  Tony shook his head even as a grin spread across his face.  "It was really cool, though, I didn't know he could do that."

"I didn't know anyone could do that.  Your boy's full of surprises, Gibbs."  Vance turned his attention back to the action on the screen as Gibbs let the video run past the splitting of the apple.  The boys were shocked enough that McGee had a captive audience as he circled around again to stand behind them.

"So, what's the plan, boys?  Are you hoping your mom resigns her commission, or maybe your dad?  It's too bad, I hear they both fine officers."

Michael was the first to react.  "Our parents are the best."

"So what happens when they get called into the CO's office about your little stunt today?"

From their expressions, it was apparent that neither boy had ever considered the news would travel that far.  "They're going to be really mad."  Matthew looked close to tears.  "Are they going to get into trouble?"

"Oh, yeah."  Tim leaned in between the two boys, a hand resting on each shoulder.  "They're going to be mad and embarrassed and humiliated.  Your dad's going to have to stand there and listen as his commander talks about how your lack of control suggests that maybe he's not fit for command.  After all, he can't even handle a couple of kids.  Your mom's going to hear that she obviously can't balance her family and her career.   Every time they go up in front of the promotion board, this little stunt of yours is going to come back up unless you do something about it."

"Like what?"  The gears were visibly turning in Michael's head.  "I mean, the junior phantom never got in trouble."

Matthew glared at his brother, they weren't supposed to admit they even knew about that.  "He never got caught, you dolt."

Tim smiled, but the boys couldn't see his face.  "You mean the Navy kid almost twenty years ago that reprogrammed the PA system at China Lake to play Queen's 'We are the Champions' instead of reveille?  Or changed the shipment of three pallets of Spam bound for Pensacola to chicken cordon bleu and chocolate mousse?  Do you boys know the difference between him and you – besides never getting caught?"

The boys looked at each other before shaking their heads.  Tim squeezed the shoulders he was holding as he pulled the boys closer.  "He made sure his pranks never hurt anyone or caused any real problems.  Even the cordon bleu arrived with paperwork to prove that the vendor had overcharging the Navy for years."

Michael was beginning to understand.  "Instead of causing problems, he solved one."

"Then the brass thinks it's funny and you're brilliant.  When they waste manpower cleaning up after you, then you're just a punk.  So, what are you boys going to do to prove you're more than that?"

As McGee started guiding the boys to the idea of working off the damages, Tony frowned.  "How would he have known about the Navy kid?  I mean... oh, you've got to be kidding me.  McGee?"

Vance grinned at Gibbs.  "I'll be damned, did you know?"

"No, but I'm not surprised.  Think the boys figured it out, too."  Gibbs pointed at the screen where two young faces were staring up at McGee with awe.  Curious, Gibbs decided it was high time shared a steak and beer with his least experienced agent, but there were other questions that he wanted answered first.  Vance seemed in agreement.

The Director grabbed this phone and waited for his assistant to pick up.  "Pamela, we need some apples, a half dozen at least.  That's what I said, apples, and as soon as you've brought those to my office, have Agent McGee join us."


	3. Chapter 3

"You wanted to see me, Sir?"

After watching McGee with the boys, Vance wanted to roll his eyes at the tentative words as Tim stood in the open doorway.  "Yes, Agent McGee, come have a seat."

For his part, Tim was a little worried about the three Cheshire cat smiles that he was facing.  "Umm, okay.  Is there a problem?"  In answer, Gibbs tossed him an apple and McGee gave a shy grin.  "You watched the tape."

"That was pretty cool, Probie.  Man, the look on the faces of those monsters..."

"Almost as good as the look on your face, DiNozzo."

Gibbs was still beaming with pride at this least experienced agent.  "Your nose prints are right next to Tony's on the plasma, Leon."

Vance stopped himself before he rubbed at his nose.  "Yeah, well, you were right there with us, Gibbs."

"Not denying it for a minute."

As the other men had bantered, Tim quietly twisted the apple around, holding the stem.  Once the stem came loose, he popped the apple in half and held out the two pieces for his two teammates.

Gibbs grinned and took a bite while Tony carefully studied the split surface, looking for any evidence as to how it had been divided.  "Okay, McClever, how'd you do it?"  Next to him, Gibbs may have been munching on his apple, but the eyebrow was raised.

Vance tossed him another apple.  "With footnotes this time."

Tim chuckled as he caught the fruit.  "Okay, first thing is that you remove the stem.  Now, do you see how I'm holding it?"  He held his hands up so that they could see his fingers at the blossom end and his thumbs draped over the stem end.  Behind the desk, Vance had an apple clutched in his own hands, following along.  "All you have to do is to press up with your fingers and then roll out with the fleshy part of your thumbs."  A few seconds later he again was holding two halves of an apple.

"That's it?  There's no trick?"

"It's simple physics, Tony, nothing more."

"Yes!"  The two younger agents turned around to see Vance sitting at his desk, proudly smiling at the two apples halves he was now holding.  "It really works."  

Seeing a smart-alec response forming on Tony's lips, Gibbs quickly changed the subject.  "So, junior phantom, how'd you manage to never get caught?"

"You, uhh, you heard that too?"

"Oh yeah, we heard all sorts things.  You messed with  reveille?  On a Marine base that would have never flown."

Tim smiled and shrugged slightly.  "It was Captain Adams' birthday and that was his favorite song.  He never came out and said it was me, but the next week he called me into his office."

"If he didn't accuse you, what did he call you in for?  What about your dad?"

"Well," if Tim let himself think about Tony's questions, he could still feel the claw-like grip on his shoulder that day.  "Dad was pretty PO'd, convinced that he was going to get reamed out for something I did, but Captain Adams talked about what a wonderful acknowledgment of his birthday it had been.  Then he said that whoever had done that was not only smart, but honorable because the system had been programmed to reset to standards after that one time.  I think that was the first time my dad took a breath since we walked into the administrative building.  There were these boxes in the corner, filled with bits and pieces of electronics that were scheduled to be recycled and Captain Adams told me to take them home and make something out of them and that he wanted weekly updates on my progress."

Silently, Gibbs approved of the action that supported the young genius while reinforcing lines that should not be crossed.  "So what did you make?"

"The weapons research guys had been complaining about not having enough lab power units to plug everything into, so I took the power supplies from a couple of old computers and converted them over.  I made a lot of friends with the researchers over that one, plus they weren't turning in requisition forms every week..."

Vance did understand that.  "Which made Captain Adams a very happy man."

"Yes, sir."  Tim smiled as he thought back.  That little corner of the research lab that he'd been given in thanks was his refuge from the many people that didn't understand him.  "After I had figured out the power system in a desktop computer, then I started playing with the portables.  Considering those first ones were the size of a suitcase, they had a lousy battery life.  Dad, Commander Hamilton and Captain Adams all had one, but they could only work away from power for about an hour."

"You figure out how to make the battery last longer?"

"I'm not that good, Boss, but I did figure out how to construct a 12v power adapter for them.  It sucked a lot of juice, but as long as a car was running, you could keep them charged."

"Damn, what else did you come up with, Agent McGee?"

Tim scratched the side of his face as he thought about how to tactfully give the Director a non-answer.  "Not anything with a practical value, Sir, but nothing that would have gotten me into any real trouble."

Vance understood what wasn't being said.  After all, McGee had been a kid – precocious, for sure, but brilliant nonetheless.  "Remind me to invite you to dinner the next time school science fairs come around.  Captain Adams must have been sad to see your dad's transfer come through."

"Yeah, but Mom and Dad were happy to be back on the East Coast, even if it was a little further south than they wanted."  Even as he explained, Tim couldn't quite hide the sadness he'd felt at leaving.  Florida had been hot and humid and the base large enough that one smart child was considered a nuisance, despite the casual comments from Captain Adams before they arrived.

Gibbs picked up on the shifting mood.  "Florida wasn't for you?"

For the first time since he'd arrived in the office, McGee wouldn't look him in the eye.  "Dad just wanted me to fit in, but Pensacola is fighter jock country, Navy and Air Force both.  All the kids on base were either varsity athletes or beach bums and I'm... me."

"Nothing wrong with being you, McGee."

"It was tempting, though.  When I heard one of the trainees complaining about the food, I got the idea to get into the provisions order.  Thought if I could change an order to give them something good, well, you know.  Instead, I discovered that the Aircraft Structural Maintenance Training Facility was ordering good food, but that wasn't what was being delivered."

"Why didn't they figure it out themselves, Probie?" 

"Too many steps between the person placing the orders and the one handling the payment authorizations."

Gibbs understood exactly what had gone wrong.  "The guy signing the purchase agreement knew he was buying the good stuff, the guy receiving the order figured the brass had cut back on the order."

"Yeah, and I was just a stupid kid, so what did I know.  Nobody would even take the time to listen to me.  Eventually, I decided that if the Navy was going to be paying for top of the line foods, the trainees might as well be eating it.  That first night caused a near riot, made people in command take a closer look."

"Did they listen to you after that?"  Tony was already planning to make McGee his co-conspirator for next April Fool's day rather than his number one target.

"The brass?  No, but the guys that were sick of Spam and out of date food, they called me a hero."

Vance was mentally taking notes.  "What about the distributor? Did he go down?"

"Fraud and theft, not much jail time but the fines put him put of business."

"Kid or not, the station commander should have acknowledged you as a whistle blower, McGee.  You probably saved the Navy millions."  

"He would have also had to acknowledge that it had been going on for years. That's part of the reason he was forced to resign his commission.  Like my dad said, protecting the Navy's image was more important than boosting my ego."

"I'll have to disagree with your father on that one, McGee."  Vance stood and offered his hand.  "It may be late, and it's not enough, but on behalf of the Navy, thank you."

Tim could feel himself blushing.  "Thank you, Sir.  Now, I've promised Mr. and Mrs. Nyler that I'd arrange for a tutor for the boys to keep them more challenged."

Tony was right on Tim's heels, pestering him for more cool tricks while Gibbs followed, staying within head slapping range.  Finally alone, Vance picked up another apple and gleefully split it in half before taking a bite.

  
\---NCIS---

  
In the dimly lit squad room, long after the team had left, Gibbs dialed a number with a California area code.  "Captain Adams, my name is Agent Gibbs.  I thought you'd like an update on a young man we both know..."

  
\---NCIS---

  
A shower and a few hours of killing digital monsters was the plan for the night and Tim almost ignored the knock on the door.  Assuming it was Tony and knowing he'd just pick the lock anyway, Tim pulled the door open.  "Tony, it's late... oh, umm, hi Ziva.  What are you... wow."

Ziva leaned against the door frame, one hand behind her back, smiling as McGee took in her appearance.  From the toes of her sleek high heels, up the long legs barely covered with the black miniskirt to linger on the silky top with the plunging neckline, to finally rest on her face.  Her hair was down, her make-up perfect, as the hall light glowed around her.  "Hello, McGee."

"Wow, Ziva, were you out on a date?"  He struggled to think of a reason she would have to come to his apartment dressed like that.

Ziva smiled and shifted slightly, enjoying it as McGee tried so hard to not look down her blouse.  "No, I just went to the grocery store."  Her hand came out from behind her back, a net bag of apples dangling from one finger as she stepped inside the apartment and closed the door behind her.  "I want you to teach me..." she gave a predatory smile, "everything."

  
~Fini~

  
Video of an apple being split - <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFRhTbD_vZk>

 


End file.
